I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
