All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
