i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
