are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
