Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
