I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
