the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
