Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
