i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
