there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
