Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
