I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
