dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
