I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
