And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
