now i know why i became what i already was.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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