Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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