I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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