i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
