Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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