i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
