That's when you crack a 10am beer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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