i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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