I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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