U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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