Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
