Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
