He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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