I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
