Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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