You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
