The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
