I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
