Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
