Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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