just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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