I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
