im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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