If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
