Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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