Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michael Bay diarrhea
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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