If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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