I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
