im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
