dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
