There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
