At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize