You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
