I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
