I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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