Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
