on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
