I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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